Relationship With the Body Self

Sit quietly and take a moment to look at the art piece above. Observe the colors, the lines, the movement of the lines, the shapes, how the lines interact with each other. And now notice if there is any response in your body. Are there any sensations, can you notice any sensation of temperature, pressure, any tingling in the feet, the hands, etc. Does the painting inspire you to move, to sit quietly, to be agitated, or anything else? 

What lead me to include a focus on the body in my expressive arts sex coaching practice?

My own body! It was crying out for attention in a completely different way than I had ever given it before. I have suffered from Restless Leg Syndrome since an early teen. Restless Leg Syndrome or RLS also known as Willis-Ekbom disease, is an uncontrollable urge to move the legs to alleviate an overwhelming sensation in the legs. For me, it shows up with a sensation that feels like there are thousands of ants crawling under the skin behind my knees! I just want to jump out of my skin when it comes upon me. At times the body needs drastic action and when my RLS got really really bad during the Covid lockdown, (I was living with my partner), I had to pay attention to my legs, they were saying, “Move out!.” So I listened and found my own place in San Diego. By the way, the symptoms are better, but not cured.

Knowing the wisdom the body holds, it is clear to me that an important aspect of sexual growth and healing must be body based in nature. A body-based approach to a healthy Relationship to Self and the coaching process involves guiding the client to sit quietly with the sensations that arise in the body when vulnerable subjects are unpacked, explored, and discussed. 

For sexual growth and healing to take place, a slow, gentle journey into the body is of utmost importance. Think of it as one synergistic organism at play during this somatic journey, and on the path are thoughts, feelings, memories, actions, reflections, all engaging, waxing, and waning. This work allows clients to explore in a safe, pressure-free space their core beliefs, their Relationship to Self, while offering a space to shift or release those beliefs that no longer serve their best interests.

The body wants to be seen, heard, witnessed, and experienced.  When that level of awareness is initiated the things that create stress and constriction in the body can then be released.  

Our bodies are wise, with that in mind it is important to remember that our histories, desires, sensations, and emotions are stored in our bodies.  Through Somatic (body-based) work the nervous system builds resiliency, the erotic mind expands, and the client’s sense of self is strengthened. 

As clients create a Relationship to Self, new paths to pleasure, a greater sense of self-worth, empowering expressions of love and sexuality are rewarding and inspiring. The reward is a stronger Relationship to Self and a narrative that is positive, accurate and sustainable, which can lead to more fulfilling and intimate relationships with others.